A Little bit of Happy after a lot of Sad

I must start out by saying that this sweet little mug that inspired this post was a gift from one of my besties, Brittany :) She has been a best friend of mine since we were in high school. She gave this mug to me a couple of weeks ago, & to be honest the second I first saw the mug I Ioved it...then I took in that word, & I felt instantly guilty-- how could I possibly be happy with everything that has happened with losing my sweet sweet mama a few months ago? Was it ok to have moments of happiness? Was it ok to let myself learn to be happy again without her? All these crazy questions & doubts were running through my mind a million miles a minute...& then I opened her card that went with it...& as I read it the tears followed. It hit me like a ton of bricks that of course my mom would want me to be happy. SHE was the one who lit up a room with her big smile & positive energy. She was the business manager whose office was literally floor to ceiling "smiley faces" (she collected them for years.) She had a smiley face calendar & any little knick knack, etc. in her office to be a constant reminder to be happy. Growing up & even into my adulthood she hatedddd it if my brother or I, or her precious grand kiddies were unhappy about anything. She would do anything she could to make us smile or make it better. Even in almost any picture taken of her she had the.biggest.smile...from ear to ear. She really did just exude happiness. And then last night as I was scrolling through my phone her old email address popped up...bigsmile55...phew! If these were not enough signs of who she was I don't know what is. 

So as I stewed more about this, & the thought came to mind that maybe happiness is not always a feeling...maybe it is more of a choice? So me & my "googling" obsessed self searched this exact phrase. Well whaddayaknow...Joyce Meyers (who happens to be a renowned Christian speaker & author whom I love listening to on the radio) had this exact phrase in a book she has written: 

"Happiness is not a feeling, it is a choice. To be happy, one must choose to be happy, not respond to a circumstance that now controls your happiness." Joyce Meyer

Wow!! ...& wow...I don't really know how much more blunt God could have explained this to me. And there was my perfect answer. It is amazing the little or big things God will put right in front of you at exactly the right time for what you're going through if you just stop & listen. So there I have it. I know the last thing in the world my mom would want-- even now after she is physically not here--would be for me to be continually sad & miserable crying all the time, everyday & not living my life to the fullest. As most who know her she had more energy than anyone I have ever known & could get any task done lickety split! My admiration for who she was & still is to me will never go away. And because of that, I am working more on trying to make a choice to be happy & not always just "wait"

To "feel" happy & feel like I just don't. I know my brother's girlfriend told me she had a dream about a couple months ago that my mom told her she did not like to see me crying so much. Now I don't always believe that dreams mean something, & I don't always take heart to it, but this one I just felt that that is what she would feel in actuality. Plain and simple, she would want me to be happy. And that I now know in the core of my being. 

So who would have thought that getting this sweet little mug as a gift would give me the strength to continually push forward & truly learn to let myself be happy-- even in the midst of such deep, horrific sorrow. So many of us know all too well how short this precious life God has given us is. I have learned this more than once in my life, so today I am choosing to be happy & not always just wait to feel it. I hope this little/big "happy" post has inspired you in one way or another to look at this word in a new light than you might have before. :) I know it will be a challenge for me at times, but I really am so happy God placed this little mug into my life for such a big purpose. As my mom always always always told me: "God has a plan." I know He does. 

...until next time!